Contractor’s Dictionary



Know what you’re getting into before you get there; must know terms for the professional contractor.

•Contractor- A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut, or deal.
• Bid Opening- A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
• Bid- A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
• Low bidder- A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
• Engineer’s estimate- The cost of construction in heaven.
• Project manager- the conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
• Critical path method- A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
• Delayed Payment- A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
• Completion date- The point at which liquidated damages begins.
• Liquidation Damages- a penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
• Auditor- People who go in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded.
• Lawyer- People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.

Patrick is Zen HVAC’s diagnostic and training guy. Patrick started in the trade the day he left technical school and never looked back. He's served in various technical and training roles in the HVAC industry but specializes in system troubleshooting and diagnostics, retro commissioning, and technical training. His moto: If I can understand it, anybody can. Patrick uses the Zen common sense approach to teach Patrick’s Likes- His Wife, kids and dog. Old pickup trucks. Hiking. The industrial Revolution. Patrick’s Dislikes- Taking work too seriously. Anything unintuitive. Emoticons :( Patrick’s Favorite famous person- Theodore Roosevelt “I am only an average man, But I work harder at it than the average man" Famous Patrick Quote- “Well, that was stupid of me”

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